Recognized as a pioneer of contemporary American cuisine, Chef Patrick O’Connell has welcomed luminaries from around the world to his acclaimed restaurant, the Inn at Little Washington. In 2018, we interviewed O’Connell on The Connected Table Live podcast when the Inn at Little Washington celebrated its fortieth anniversary and was about to receive its first three-star rating from the Michelin Guide after many years holding two stars (which it still retains). That year we were invited but unable to attend his Woodstock-themed celebration in Little Washington, Virginia, where the Inn is located. We also missed the over-the-top party he threw at Chateau Versailles in France. Now O’Connell has released a memoir entitled “Middle Main & Gay: A Chef Finds His Place in the World Against All Odds” (Celadon Books, a division of Macmillan Publishers).
O’Connell’s fame and fortune started with humble beginnings. Born in Washington DC, his family was middle class conservative living in an Irish Catholic community. His Lutheran mother would serve fish sticks and tuna casserole on Fridays and read him his favorite fairy tales. His strict father did not take kindly to his sensitive son’s preference for playing with dolls and decorating his sandbox with twigs and leaves. The young O’Connell knew he was special, but these were different times and the word “homosexuality” was barely uttered and certainly not accepted. Writing this memoir, O’Connell says he unleashed many demons. He writes about sexual predators and discrimination, betrayal and disappointment, all what he refers to as “the jagged pieces of the jigsaw puzzle of my life.” Reading parts of the book you feel both his vulnerability and his sense of beauty and perfection. But underneath that sensitive exterior existed a stronger soul that found success beyond what anyone back then could envision.
O’Connell’s life could have taken a much different course. Back then, misfits did not fit into the structure of the straitlaced South. He could have just been another odd young man who disappeared into oblivion. But that was not his destiny. O’Connell trained as an actor at Catholic University, and his theatrical style has served him well throughout his career. However, he found his performing stage and destiny working in restaurants, an industry that accepts misfits and colorful characters. He started flipping hamburgers and ended up traveling around Europe, teaching himself to cook and reading cookbooks. He told us reading Julia Child’s cookbooks were particularly inspiring. Eventually he purchased a shack in rural Virginia and started a catering business. He developed a well-heeled following. Deciding to take the plunge to open a restaurant, he and his then partner, Reinhardt Lynch, borrowed $5000 to purchase a former country store and garage in Little Washington, Virginia, to open their restaurant in 1978. Back then he told us the dinner cost $4.95!
Little Washington is a rural village, still with no traffic lights. The Inn at Little Washington sits at the intersection of Middle, Main and Gay Streets. The name of O’Connell’s memoir is a double play on the location of the Inn and a declaration of his identity. Both have come a long way since the 1970s, much less the 1950s.
Opening a fine dining restaurant in rural Virginia may have sounded crazy at the time. O’Connell writes poignantly about recruiting and training staff who lived in the nearby hollers and gulches and working with local farmers. O’Connell started by recreating the sensuous food memories he had as a child, elevating and enhancing the dish using the best ingredients he could source. Critical acclaim came quickly thanks to O’Connell’s culinary skills and obsession with detail. Rave reviews by notable restaurant critics like Phyllis Richman of the Washington Post drew customers from near and far.
The Inn at Little Washington became a dining destination for Washington, DC heavy hitters and celebrities and moguls who wanted a luxury experience without prying photographers. Then, there were the heads of state and European royalty. A highlight for O’Connell was hosting HRH Queen Elizabeth II and her entourage. Personally, I enjoyed his descriptions of the late Craig Claiborne, an acclaimed food writer with a lascivious appetite for fine food and young men, whose fiftieth birthday extravaganza was held with fifty renowned chefs in Monte Carlo.
Listening to the conversation with O’Connell from our 2018 podcast, he underscores the importance of creating a welcoming retreat reminiscent of the relaxing country drives his family would take in Virginia. The Inn at Little Washington defines “country retreat” with every attention to hospitality and detail. There are twenty-four beautifully appointed guest rooms and suites.
During the years when I ran The James Beard Foundation Awards, the Inn at Little Washington and its team were nominated- and won- every major award including Outstanding Restaurant (1993) and Outstanding Chef (2001). My mother and father always attended the Awards and befriended O’Connell. My mother loved dogs and supported animal rescue. The Inn at Little Washington is famous for its Dalmatians who have served as the property’s mascots. Patrick always wore Dalmatian- print aprons and chef’s pants. My parents visited the Inn at Little Washington a few times. When I was cleaning out my mother’s house, I found two of O’Connell’s cookbooks personalized to my mother, The Purple Lady.” Of course, I kept them.
Patrick O’Connell and Reinhardt Lynch seemed inseparable until one day they were not. After ending their personal relationship years earlier, the two dissolved their business relationship in 2006 in a contentious split. In the book. Reinhardt is referred to as “Ryan.” I can only imagine how cathartic writing this memoir must have been.
I won’t say much more because I encourage you to purchase the book. But I do want to share my personal story about my one visit to Inn at Little Washington. It was in the mid-1990s, and I was in love with a handsome British banker whom I convinced to take me to Inn at Little Washington for a romantic getaway. I recall the detail at the Inn was beyond anything I had experienced. Everything was so decorated and polished. Even the stairwell banisters were festooned with luxury fabric. The dinner was outstanding, and we drank very expensive wines. Later that night sitting on a small patio outside our suite sipping Port, my boyfriend comment in his upper crust British accent that this had been the most expensive night of his life. I told him, “I assure you, I am worth it and I wanted you to share this experience with me.” He broke up with me several weeks later. So, the memory remains but the man did not. I have not yet visited the Inn at Little Washington with my husband, David, and hope to. Life is short.
Kudos to Patrick O’Connell for sharing your story and making happy memories at the Inn at Little Washington for more than forty-eight years. I can’t wait to see what you have up your sleeve for the Inn’s fiftieth anniversary.
XO- Melanie
Chef Patrick O’Connell
Here is The Connected Table Live 2018 interview with Patrick O’Connell where he describes opening the Inn at Little Washington and the importance of his childhood food memories to creating his menu. Listen here